As the seasons shift and we approach Thanksgiving, I’ve been reflecting on what truly endures — the principles that guide us through change.
I wrote a blog on September 13, 2010, called, “My Guiding Principles.” After reading it and its follow-up post “Take Responsibility,” dated September 21, 2010, I see just how evergreen these guiding principles are in my life.
My Guiding Principles
I’ve built my career on a set of principles to which I hold myself 100% accountable. These tenets are how I conduct my professional life, and in large part, how I conduct my personal relationships, too. Here are the things most important to me:
Be trustworthy, reliable, and dependable.
This is the “ultimate triumvirate”. In my opinion, these three traits are the most important characteristics you can have. Without them, you cannot have long-term success. They can make you or break you. Trust is built over a lifetime, but it can be destroyed in an instant. Never break the trust of your customer, employee, employer, colleague, spouse, child. Ever.
Take the high road.
In any and all situations, do the right thing. The angrier you are, the more important it is to not succumb to your emotions. Over the years, I have fallen on the sword countless times. I have taken the blame for situations that were never my fault. Of course, there is a difference between being a sucker and carefully considering what the high road is. For example, if someone really pisses you off, breathe. Don’t yell. Don’t rant. Don’t use ALL CAPS in an email. In fact, walk away. Consider whether or not the person and the situation warrant the amount of energy you are giving. Keep your energy for important things. And never ever display anger in an email. The email will last far longer than your chagrin.
Consider what is fair.
Be as objective as possible. Look at all sides of a situation. You are not always right (as hard as it may be to recognize). Being defensive never works. I have learned that the more fair I am, the more fair those around me tend to be in return.
Listen.
Listening is one of the most important relationship skills you can master. Do you ever find yourself planning your next point, sentence, or question while your conversational partner is speaking? You can completely miss what the person is saying because you are so busy thinking about “your turn” to speak. Being present in the moment is a critical capability to master. The more you listen, the more the other person will say. I can’t think of a better way to build a relationship.
Provide value.
In a business setting, the most valuable thing a person can give you is their time. When someone gives you their time, you must provide value in return. Grasp every moment as an opportunity to be valuable to someone else. The same is true for delivering a service. When you work for someone, provide them with value. Otherwise, they will find someone else next time.
Take responsibility.
I cannot emphasize how important it is to take responsibility. And as is the case in doing the right thing, the harder it is to take responsibility, the more important it is that you do so – especially when things get ugly. You cannot take the credit and not the blame.
There is nothing I hate more than excuses. And there is nothing I admire more than full-disclosure. Taking responsibility when something goes wrong is more important than taking credit when something goes right. It is through taking responsibility for failures that I have fostered some of my closest relationships.
Things are always going to go wrong. That is just a fact of life. In business, at home, at school…stuff happens. I try my best to first maintain an attitude of self-reflection. What did I do to affect the situation? What could I have done better? How could I have created a better outcome?
You cannot take half-responsibility. In other words, saying, “Yes, I know that I did <x>, BUT…” doesn’t cut it. When you take responsibility, there are no “buts.” Once you put in the “but,” you have acquiesced part of the responsibility. And if you do that, you might as well hold yourself harmless. In the world of customer service, there are no buts about it.
Next time you are in a position where you know you need to take ownership of a situation, challenge yourself to not say “but.” When you find yourself stumbling to that point, just be quiet. Don’t say it. Just take responsibility, commit to fixing the situation, and get moving. Your customers, employer, employees, colleagues, friends, and family will have much more respect for you if you do.
As the seasons shift, it’s the principles that remain steady that guide lasting success. Curious how we can put trust, accountability, and integrity to work for your next project?
